Wednesday, August 30, 2017

I Am Weary

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”  
Isaiah 55:8-9 NIV

Nothing moves quickly with medical equipment. Earlier this year, we ordered a wheelchair growth kit because my ten year old son, Liam, is getting tall. After eight months, many phone calls, and a long office visit, the growth kit was added to his chair. We expected to walk out with a chair that was a great fit for our tall boy. Instead, his chair looked like a hodgepodge and was unable to seat him properly. Now I will need to make a mountain of calls, go to more appointments, and advocate aggressively to try to get him into a new chair that fits him well. Liam will have to use a poorly fitting chair for all the months that this takes.  
Today I sat in a back-to-school meeting for Liam and realized that despite a caring team, I will be working very hard this year to get the help that he needs. In our home, I need to hire new personal care workers and until I do, I will need to do all of Liam’s feeding, bathing, and other cares. My list of to-dos and frustrations goes on and on and on. Does yours? Do you spend hours and hours fighting for services and benefits? Do you feel like you constantly transporting to and from appointments? Do you lift, feed, tip a cup, dress, and change? Do you have to check, double check, and reteach others to be sure that your child’s needs are being met in the best possible way? Are you weary and exhausted? I know that many of you fight battles like these every day. My Liam just turned 10. That is a decade of loving my precious boy, but also a decade of advocacy. How long have you been a mom?  How long have you been an advocate. Do you find yourself weary?

As I felt frustrated and overwhelmed at the unending tasks before me today, I thought about Moses. Moses did not feel well prepared to lead the Israelites. He had to keep going back to a stubborn Pharaoh demanding the release of God’s people. Later Moses had to wander the desert for 40 years. He had to remind the Israelites of God's faithfulness and encourage them. Can you imagine his feelings of weariness? Yet God gave Moses the support of his brother Aaron to speak for him. God sent manna and quail for the Israelites to eat. Each day this manna and quail were a miraculous reminder of God’s presence. 

Martin Luther wrote, “
I know not the way God leads me, but well do I know my Guide.”  When things feel overwhelming and we are weary, we can rest in knowing who our God is.  The same God who led the Israelites...The same God who took Moses to heaven...The same God who sent his son to die for me…THAT same God is the God who ordained Liam’s days, my days, your days. “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” We don't rest in God because we understand his plan. We don't rest in God because his plan feels easy. We don't rest in God because his plan meets our approval. We can rest in this God because he took care of our deepest need with the blood of his son on Calvary. This God who sent his own Son for us is worthy of our trust. We can do what Moses and the Israelites did. We can wake up each day, we can praise the God who saves, and we can do the work he gives us.  When we feel weary, he will send the Aarons, the manna, and the quail. He sent his Jesus.  Our Savior. He will strengthen us for this earthly travail with his precious word and someday he will deliver us to our heavenly home. 

Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for revealing yourself to me in your word. When I feel weary and tired, please lead me to your word. Strengthen me with your truth. Provide earthly supports for me to encourage me. Be with me. In your name, Amen.

~Wendy Heyn

4 comments:

  1. This post has been manna from heaven for my weary soul. Everything I am struggling with right now is expressed beautifully, yet addressed gracefully with God's LOVE. Thank you for this encouragement.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm so glad it was a blessing to you, Denie.

      Delete
  2. You are an amazing mom- faithful, full of the fruit of the spirit. May the Lord surround you with His love, wrap you in His peace, and flood you with His strength. May He smooth the road in front of you and grant you and your household joy! hugs and blessings

    ReplyDelete
  3. Amen! It often helped me to say to myself, “Whatever I do for you, I do for Jesus” and offer it to the Lord as a sacrifice of praise. I’d been a diaper-changing, elopement watcher, total carer of the needs of toddlers and a severely special needs, non-verbal daughter for 30 years, so yes, decades. Now they’re grown and our daughter with special needs lives at an excellent residential placement, and our lives still feel like they pivot around care, oversight, planning, and visiting. When you’ve been at it this long, you learn that your life is a sacrifice to the needs of your child, forever. And that the benefits outweigh the effort and the eternal rewards will outweigh the weariness in this life. It is so hard, but as you said, God takes care of our deepest needs. Praise him and prayers for those of you still in the thick of it all!

    ReplyDelete