Tuesday, July 18, 2017

beyond the front door


“Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be ashamed when they speak with their enemies in the gate.”
Psalm 127:3-5 (NASB) 

The choice is hard, sometimes very hard.
   
Satan wants to weigh in on the choice.

Culture wants to weigh in on the choice.

The flesh wants to weigh in on the choice.

All three want to mess up the choice, they want their say, and drown out God’s voice.

All three throw up barriers – no place to change her, lack of accommodations, lack of accessibility, lack of compassion, lack of assistance, lack of understanding, just plain old fear.

Do I take my special needs child out in public? Or do I keep girlie at home?

The older she gets, the harder the decision becomes. Depends on the day, depends on the circumstances, depends on her mood, and depends on the emotional state of mom.

But, do I let my enemies have a say in the matter? 

No, I really shouldn’t. 

Just NO

Psalm 127 says she is a gift from God, of whom I should not be ashamed. Scripture does not say if she is physically perfect, if she can walk, if she can talk, if she can communicate, if she has good behavior. Psalm 139 tells me my daughter is “fearfully and wonderfully made” by God.

Scripture says she is a gift, that is all, plain and simple.

She is valuable to God, she is valuable to her family, and she has value and importance as a member of society – she is different but differences are important to be SEEN not HIDDEN.

Do I hide the gift that God has given my family?

 NO

She deserves the chance to interact with others, to people watch (one of her favorite things), to talk and sing in her special voice to others, and to enjoy riding in the car (another favorite) with her family in the seat between her brothers who love her and hold her hands.

Oh, but I need the courage to go out with girlie some days.

The fear sets in – wonder who that is from? You guessed it, an enemy.

The heart flutters set in – wonder who that is from? You guessed it, an enemy. 

God made my personality as someone who does not like to be in the public eye. I don’t like people looking at me, wondering about my family, wondering about my child. I would much rather be under the bench, behind the tree, behind the curtain.

God is doing a work in my heart in this area - because GIRLIE SHOULD NOT BE HIDDEN.

Oh my. Just keep breathing. Keep being brave.

Please pray with me:

God, I need your courage, and I need your bravery, and I need You so that I can keep taking my child in public and not run from the hard places. I so want to run, Lord. Please help me remember that you have not given me a spirit of fear, and that I should never be ashamed of my beautiful and amazing daughter.  Also, Lord, please help me give grace to those around me in public who may not at all understand this journey. 

Amen.

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