|Image Courtesy of David Castillo Dominici /freedigitalphotos.net|
It was Summerfest in Milwaukee, WI. The day had been filled with sun, fun and music. I was in one of the public restrooms washing my hands, and a mom was in there with her two daughters. One daughter was crying because she had wanted a cheap beaded necklace (you know, the dollar store ones which we all have now realized bleed onto our skin when we sweat.)
Well, I just happened to HAVE such a necklace, and, being in my happy state after a sunny fun-filled day, I said, "Oh, here, Sweetie, you can have mine."
Oh, geez. Clearly the move of a "non-mother" and ignorant graduate student who did NOT know how the world works...
The OTHER daughter exploded into a fit of tears. "How come she gets one and I don't???!!!"
I wanted to crawl into the corner, and I'm CERTAIN their mother did as well. I did NOT have a second necklace to give, and now I was the reason for a round of sibling rivalry that I didn't have to resolve.
She DID IT out of love and concern for him.
She DID IT for a wonderful reason!
She DID IT thinking that it would make someone happy.
Some of the most frequent disagreements between my husband and I are over JUST THIS topic. When do we give consequences? When do give her the benefit of the doubt? When do we reward? When do we take away?These aren't easy questions to answer, and we rarely know if our decision was right or wrong...but they can become contentious and hurtful for the adults involved if we aren't careful.
Ultimately, the question for me comes back to this...How many times have I been the one who, without know or without intent, triggered the meltdown? More than I'd care to know is my guess. So, if I have already been the culprit, do I have any right to cast a stone in anyone else's direction?
Pray: Heavenly Father, we often have our protocol, our system, our RULES for how to handle certain situations with our children. Help us to remember that there are many wonderful people out there who don't know these rules, and may just be following their heart. Ignorance of our child's particular diagnosis can be frustrating; so help us to remain gracious, and follow Jesus's example. Amen.