Oftentimes I question God. Parenting is difficult and things don’t turn out right. I wonder why God allows things to happen to us when the lives of others look easier. I wonder where God is when things are difficult. Most of my friends whose children are school-aged have returned to their careers. Their children are independent and face the usual school age challenges. Liam’s needs continue to be all encompassing and I continue to stay at home advocating for him and caring for his needs day after day. After so many years of this, I am lonely – so intensely lonely. There will be many years of the same ahead of me. Because of this, there are times when I feel cheated by a God who has said that he is working things for my good.
Both of these situations are difficult because without trust we question everything. EVERYTHING. If I cannot trust Liam’s staff to do the right things for him, I must dissect every school day to figure out if his needs are being met. As the mom who manages the medical file and the IEP, I want to go to God with my guns blazing too. There is a difference, though. My doubts in a human care team for Liam may be founded in real shortcomings. My doubts about God are founded in my own weakness, not God’s.
We have a God who can be trusted. The best evidence of this is that our God sent his own son to die for our sins. He loved us this much! Romans 5:8, “God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” God loved us. He sent his beloved son to suffer for our sins. Jesus stood in our place and bore the punishment for our sins. Someday we will live in heaven for eternity because of this beautiful sacrifice. This means that we live under an umbrella of trust. We have a trustworthy God. He tells us in the Bible that he is working all things for our eternal good. We don’t need to question him as we might question an IEP team. We know that he has our best interest at heart. We know that our God loves our children more than we do. He has their best interest at heart too. May we rest peacefully as we live under the umbrella of his trust.
Your word tells us that we can come to you the same way that dearly loved children would ask their Father. Today we come to you asking you to forgive us for all of the times that we question you and your purposes. Please forgive our lack of trust. Please hold us close today. Reassure us of your love. Give us a yearning for your Word because in your Word we see you. When we see the God that you are, we know that you are worthy of our utmost trust. Thank you for always being trustworthy.
In Jesus' Name, Amen.