Friday, December 30, 2016

All I Could Say Was, "Jesus"

Like many of you, our holidays, our "Christmas", looks a little different than most. Having a child with Autism can result in some changes in tradition. That is not always a bad thing...
Attending the Christmas Eve church service together as a family
For 20 plus years we have traveled at Christmas. Sometimes, the trip was a relatively short 3 hours or so, other times it has been a much longer trek. Either way, it always required much planning and packing to accommodate a growing number of children, a dog, and everything that goes along with Christmas.

But we have wonderful memories of mini-vans packed tight with gifts and children and a dog, all excited to see grandparents and family and open gifts.

Traveling during the holidays is fun, but it is also hard.

Christmas can be a little stressful and busy and very easy to get distracted and forget what we are actually celebrating. I wanted to slow down this year, I wanted to remember...what I really wanted was to avoid anything that might cause our son to have another seizure.

My children, like most, love Christmas. I love Christmas. I love it all; from the gift of Jesus and singing about his birth, to the lights and the tree, and the presents and food.

I especially love the time with family.

Last year was the first Christmas our family celebrated without my mom. We went home and stayed with my brother and had a wonderful time, but it was different.

Our son Cooper loves Christmas too, and I felt like this change was harder on him than we realized at the time.

Although I am not exactly sure how much he comprehends of the birth of Jesus, I know if you show him the nativity scene and ask him what it is he says, "Bible" so that's a start.

He definitely understands Santa and presents.

He loves Christmas a lot, maybe too much. I think the anxiety, the anticipation...it may be too much. So that love along with changes in tradition, I believe...resulted in...

When we came home from our family visit to East Tennessee last year Cooper had his first seizure. We started a journey I had honestly prayed we would never have to take.

I also realized, in those moments...I can't pray.

That surprised me a little.

When we get to the end of this post you will find a prayer. Hopefully, you will find it to be heartfelt and somewhat applicable to you and your life. When I can write out a prayer I have time to really quiet my heart and my mind and think about what I want to say to God and to you.

When your child is in the middle of a seizure, all heard was my own voice saying, "Jesus."

We decided for the first time in many years to stay home this Christmas. I was hoping that no traveling would keep things calm and normal for Cooper and we would avoid any extra stress and not have to worry about seizures.

That would not be the case, I think he just loves it so much. So when it hit on Christmas Day and we got to him...

All I could say again was..."Jesus".

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV

When I read the above verse that His grace is sufficient...I realized, I saw, when I have nothing, when I am helpless and have no words....

I only need one...

"Jesus."

Oh dear Father, I thank you for that one Word, that one Gift that is sufficient for all our pain and suffering and when we have nothing...no words, no answers, God when we just don't understand why..."Jesus". Amen


~Beth

2 comments:

  1. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your heart for God and your children! Praying for your Cooper. Yes, JESUS IS enough! Thank you for the reminder.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for the prayers.

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