Thursday, May 12, 2016

Who Holds the Momma When She Needs To Be Held?

 As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you. 

 Isaiah 66:13


Mother's Day is complicated for many women. I know it is for me.

I've been blessed to have 2 "mothers" and they're both in heaven now.  

When I'm exhausted and weary as a mother, I wish I had my mom back. I miss her practical wisdom and unconditional love. I miss her smiles of encouragement. I miss her hugs. If she were still with me, I know she'd be telling me to trust that God has a plan and He is going to work everything out.

Sunday was not just Mother's Day - it was also my birth mother, Kathleen's, birthday. I wished I could tell her one more time - "thank you for giving me my life!"  If she had not chosen to give me up for adoption, our seven children and 11 grandchildren wouldn't even exist! My heart was overwhelmed with thankfulness.


As our kids and grandchildren made my day special, I was reminiscing about my adoptive mom, Joyce. I miss her so much. All day I kept wishing she could have lived to see her grandchildren and her great grandchildren. Oh, how, she would have loved them! A bit of sadness bloomed in my heart.


All of our children are married now - except for Bethany. (our 15 year old daughter with Down Syndrome)  


They all made my day special. I was showered me with love and thank you's, cards, and gifts.

I felt well loved by them but I wanted my mom back.  Who holds the momma when she needs to be held?

I didn't ask to be a mom of a child with special needs. I wouldn't trade Bethany with Down Syndrome for anything else! But not knowing the treasure of "special" kids, I didn't think I could handle something like that. Bethany is a paradox in my role of motherhood. 

I remind myself and learn fundamental truths every day: God knows, God helps, and God is with me always.

But I still worry, who will mother Bethany when I'm gone?

Being a mother is the best, toughest, bittersweet "job" I've ever had - especially being mom to a child with special needs.

Sometimes I get weary. So tired. Always something to overcome. No end in sight. Unknown future.

That's when I wish I had my mom again. Who comforts the momma when she needs to be comforted?

The Monday after Mother's Day, I was in a bit of a funk. I decided to grace myself by lowering my expectations of what I could get done. I chucked my to-do list and took time to pray and reflect. (So many times I just stuff my feelings down, thinking I don't have time to deal with my own emotional needs.)

And God, my Father took on the role of Mother to me.  He held & comforted me.

As I listened to worship music, this song, Just Be Held, by Casting Crowns played.

And somehow - in a way I can't really explain, somehow, God "mothered" me.

Who holds the momma when she needs to be held?  

Our precious Father can mother us - because after all- mothers reflect a part of His heart.

Here are the words below and a link to the song. Precious parents, I pray that you know and experience the comforting love of our Father today!

"Just Be Held"

Hold it all together
Everybody needs you strong
But life hits you out of nowhere
And barely leaves you holding on

And when you're tired of fighting
Chained by your control
There's freedom in surrender
Lay it down and let it go

So when you're on your knees and answers seem so far away
You're not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your world's not falling apart, it's falling into place
I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held

If your eyes are on the storm
You'll wonder if I love you still
But if your eyes are on the cross
You'll know I always have and I always will

And not a tear is wasted
In time, you'll understand
I'm painting beauty with the ashes
Your life is in My hands

So when you're on your knees and answers seem so far away
You're not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your worlds not falling apart, its falling into place
I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held

Lift your hands, lift your eyes
In the storm is where you'll find Me
And where you are, I'll hold your heart
I'll hold your heart
Come to Me, find your rest
In the arms of the God who won't let go

So when you're on your knees and answers seem so far away
You're not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your worlds not falling apart, its falling into place
I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held (stop holding on and just be held)
Just be held, just be held, just be held, just be held.

Prayer - Our Father, whose heart is to comfort, help us remember You're in control of our chaotic world. Help us remember we are Your children, and You are in our storms of life. Help us stop and just be held by You. Thank You for Your promise of never-failing love and always-presence in our lives.
In Jesus Name- Amen.

by Cindy Barclay


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