Thursday, April 14, 2016

I Can Do What I Want

 "People may be right in their own eyes, but the Lord examines their heart."
 Proverbs 21:2 

Bethany is in full teenager mode.  Down syndrome or not -- 
 a teenager is a teenager.
The other day I said, "Hey Bethany, you need to change that top babe.  It's too tight and I can see your bra straps. Change to something more appropriate, OK?"

And then it happened.

With a swing of her hair and a sassy girl voice "But I like it Mommy. I am 14. I almost adult. I can do what ever I want."

I walked over to her, took her hands in mine and made eye contact. I'm trying to transition from parenting her as a child to parenting as an almost adult. I want to get her to think about her life choices- not have me continue to "lay down the law."

Slowly I explained.

"I know you're almost an adult. I love watching you grow up. But it's not true that you can do whatever you want.  Not even close.  We don't always know what is best. You are a God girl. That means you need to seek God's opinion and advice from other Christians. You need to think about what is right and wrong."

"But I adult. I like my top. I can do what I want."

"Technically you're right. You can do what you want and you have the right to your own opinion.  But God has opinions and wisdom about everything. Because God is good and awesome and He loves us so much- His opinion is the only one that counts."

"What do you think God would think about showing your bra strap and wearing too tight of a top?" 

Deflated, she walked upstairs and changed her top.  :)

If we can just get our kids asking for themselves-

 "What does God think?"

I guarantee they're going to become happy, well-adjusted, righteous living adults: whether they have special needs or not.

No one has the wisdom or knowledge to determine everything we want to do.

  Everyone can learn 2 B a GOD SEEKER- GOD DEPENDENT

I want to hear Bethany say- "Hmmmm- I'm a God girl. I wonder what He thinks I should do?"

I want to nurture and guide - NOT control Bethany's life. I've found this is even harder since she has a disability. It's easier to make her decisions for her.

But I won't be around forever! 

I need to know, as a parent, I tried to help her become a GOD SEEKER and GOD DEPENDENT. I want her to grow up and mature and gain wisdom.  I want to help her learn to seek the "best" right way for her life. 

Besides encouraging her to read God's Word and get to know what He thinks, I need to model being a God Seeker and share with her what treasure I find.

Then we'll both be blessed as we say- "I want to do what God wants- because His ways are the best." 

Our Prayer: Our Father- I need your help as a parent to show and tell my children how to become GOD SEEKERS and GOD DEPENDENT.  Let Your opinion be the most important one we seek.  In Jesus Name- Amen.

Cindy Barclay~


  1. So true, so true, so true...I struggle with the same thing. <3

    1. Ahh Tammie- I once read that kids with intellectual disabilities like down syndrome have "double" the maturing time it takes typical kids- ie- toddler-hood normally last 2-3- years but it might be 4-6 years for a child with an ID to mature. (I don't know if this is true or not but I definitely see Bethany maturing but much more slowly than her siblings) It hit me the other day that if this is true- then OMGoodness- how long will this "teenager attitude" be here? lol- I don't know but my momma always said- this too shall pass- and I know it will- for the Lord is maturing us and growing us up into His good plans and purposes. hugs

  2. Excellent and you do so well with precious Bethany. Bethany is so blessed to be born a Barclay.