Friday, February 12, 2016
Acts 27:25 (NLT)
Have you ever felt the call to extreme courage and said, “Not me, God! I’m scared!”?
I found myself completely choked up as I watched a children’s theater production about women’s role changes through history. I was being the usual mommy maniac, taking a thousand pictures and at a moment that was appropriate for audience screams, I found that I just… couldn’t. It’s hard to explain why I had such a big, emotional reaction, but I will try. First, my daughter is in the production, and I could cry about almost anything my kids engage in. That aside, this production was hard for her. It involved singing and dancing, often at the same time. This is during a time when her loose ligaments complained and prompted her hip to go out of place and her knees to hurt. The first week of dance rehearsals had us at the chiropractor and off her PT routine for a week, the pain was so intense. Her persistent anxiety about anything she can’t control (which is almost everything) created many opportunities to explore and talk and cry during the 13 weeks of rehearsals.
Today I saw her execute coordinated dance moves, while saying her lines or singing. As I sat watching her briefly become Rosa Parks and tell the bus conductor ‘No!’, my throat tightened up. There is a moment in all our lives when we must say ‘no!’ to the man, whoever that may be. We acknowledge the power of things to happen to us, but also, our power to happen to things. When the cast burst into Sara Bareilles’ Brave, I nearly lost it. ‘Say what you want to say! And let your words fall out. Honestly. I want to see you be brave!’ This represented my entire wish for her in that moment. Be BRAVE my daughter. What else can we do? Shrinking back does nothing. So bravely, she took her danced out self and held out the last notes and I couldn’t help but think, I see you being brave. It’s a beautiful thing.
I had to call a friend. “Do you know why we need to be brave? Our kids see what bravery looks like by looking at us! We step out in faith to honor God, and to model what it means for our kids to courageously act in faith in spite of adversity.”
So, I re-enlist for the challenge (while still wishing it away). I note Joshua received a command to be courageous. Aside from the fact of God being .. God, He's given us good reason to be courageous. He does what He says. Period. So, like Paul, on a sinking ship, in a storm, we can say, "I believe God" and keep dancing. Even if you dance with tears, through heartbreak and confusion about what He's doing, keep dancing. You are His courageous warrior and we salute you.
I went backstage to offer my congrats and hugs to the cast, as a good, groupie-mommy should. As I held my daughter, I whispered, “You were very brave”. She squeezed me and said, “I was”.
Lord, today I embrace Your call to courage. I know You have given me all the courage I need. I will walk in faith, in peace, in trust today, courageously navigating what's mine to navigate and courageously leaving the rest in Your hands. I give my children to You again and I pray that You would fill their hearts with courage for Your mission in their lives. Please Lord, let them see that courage modeled in me, as I trust You today. Amen.