Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Filling Up to Pass It On

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"All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. Even when we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation! For when we ourselves are comforted, we will certainly comfort you. Then you can patiently endure the same things we suffer." 2 Cor. 1:3-6, NLT

"You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy."
Ps. 30:11, NLT

Some days, I wake up with that sinking feeling.  You know the one.  The feeling that yesterday's torture will happen again.  No. Wait. It won't happen again. Worse will happen.  And. I'll break.  Maybe not fully, but a bit more. So, heart constricted, head cluttered, I go through.  I act out my roles, negotiate with my heart and body and fall exhausted into bed.

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And some days, I wake up, drawn to Him, a song in my heart, knowing that whatever happens in the day, it will be good because of the One who lives in me.  He's lived there for a while now, and I've seen Him relentless in His pursuit of me.  Through no action of my own, through no act of my will, I FEEL Him, and know He's there. I have a little spring in my step.  I walk through the day and I have energy to embrace whatever comes my way.

On those days, I can take no credit. I am a beneficiary.  People walked before me, in my family, in my church, in books, in stories, and generously poured grace on my life, enabling me to walk another step.  Hallelujah!  This is true on the sinking feeling days too. I just may not feel it, I may not even recognize it.  But the prayers of the saints that have gone ahead, and the ones who are here that I may or may not know about, whose prayers carry me.

About 20 years ago, one of the pastors my church was shot as his place of business was being robbed. He was paralyzed from the shooting. I remember speaking with him shortly after receiving my son's diagnosis of autism.  "How do you do it? On those days when you wonder... how do you manage?" I asked.  He said, "On the days when you aren't experiencing grace, go find someone who is experiencing some grace and get some."  I'll never forget that advice.  It's now my habit, to sit my depleted self down and just allow grace to pour from someone in a thought, through Facebook, in a devotional, in a hug. Someone received comfort from God and is a conduit of His comfort to me. Even when I don't realize it, it's happening.

So I fill up on grace and comfort when I'm aware, because I get to be one of these people who are full of grace. On those 'song in my heart days', when I hear about a friend who's mom struggles with a life threatening condition, or who's son can't breathe on his own or who's daughter has a brain legion or who's son was newly diagnosed with autism, I get to be a conduit of that grace. I can't hold it up. I must pass it on. Soon, I'll need it again!

For 2016, I'm committing to look for the grace, for the comfort, for the messages in unusual places.  Because I'm a beneficiary of His comfort, and I get to pass it on!

Lord, I am so grateful for the call to share Your grace with those who need it. Please Lord, help my life to praise You. Help my arms to embrace those You have put in my way. Help me to share Your comfort as You have so generously provided it to me.

1 comment:

  1. So true. Sharing His grace helps me to get through and helps others too.