|looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:2 NKJV|
Sometimes, I try to do it all.
I like to do it all.
Sometimes, most of the time, I fail at doing it all.
I want to be June Cleaver, Carol Brady, Erma Bombeck and Lorelai Gilmore all rolled into one. The reality, I am probably more like Edith Bunker.
You know, running about, often frazzled...always trying to stay positive and hoping for the best, but a little disorganized. I never manage to perfectly pull it all together.
That's just me.
I so want to do it all, and do it well.
I want to be a good Christ follower, mother my children, and be a good wife. I strive to love my neighbor, to cook, clean, work, and have a hot well balanced meal on the table every night.
I want to be the one playing with the dog and refinishing furniture.
I need to be the best advocate for my son, and I need to write, read, and spend time with family. And you must also know that I really, really want to have sparkling clean toilets...I do.
But I don't.
I probably never will...
at least not the way I see it done on television.
I just have to learn to accept that fact and be ok with it, even embrace it. Because that's not real, and I am. My story is real. You see, the thing I have to remember is, this is my story, the one I was created for.
But sometimes, it's hard to stay positive and hopeful.
I can do many of these things and yes sometimes I can even feel like I can do all of these things fairly well.
But when I feel like I don't, that is when I have to guard my heart, that is when the doubt creeps in.
Maybe that happens to you too?
I think, as parents of children who have extra challenges, we are especially vulnerable in the heart area. Because, we are not just guarding our hearts but often we are guarding theirs as well.
Part of what we do is teach our children. We give them the tools they need and the instruction to learn to guard their own hearts...and oh how difficult it can be to let them go, to let them take over that task themselves as they grow.
But some of us have children that we will simply never let go of. We will stand guard over their hearts, for as long as we are entrusted with that incredible task.
A task that occasionally keeps us scurrying around like Edith Bunker, a little frazzled but ever present and hopeful.
We may not be perfectly pressed and presenting ourselves with lustrous pearls and perfectly done hair. We may not have a maid, or the wit and wisdom of some of the most envied mothers in print and on television.
We do what we were created to do, we embrace the part written just for us. And we do it with the grace and provision of a God that is stronger than any stain, and more forgiving than any script.
Oh dear Heavenly Father, You are "the author and finisher of our faith." You have written a story for us that could never be seen or comprehended by those who put their trust and faith in the words of the world. Quiet our scurrying minds and still our frazzled bodies so that we my find our rest and strength in You. Wrap Your everlasting peace and comfort around our hearts and the hearts of our children. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.