"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion & the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." (2 Corinthians 1:3-4) A daily devotional especially intended to offer compassion to other challenged parents of kids with special needs. Visit our home page at www.snappin.org!
Wednesday, October 14, 2015
The Forgotten Children - Unintended Favorites
"...Whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone--especially to those in the family of faith." Galatians 6:10, NLT
He was one of the good kids.He never got in trouble, had good grades,
and was super responsible. He helped
out and went out of his way to ease your burden or at least he noticed your
difficulties with your special needs child.Never did he cause you any grief.Do you have one or more of those children in your home?Even if you don’t my guess is at least one of
your children doesn’t require those frantic prayer requests.
If you are like most families, your special
needs child requires a lot of your time, resources, and energy.This can often come at the expense of your
other child or children.When this
happens your child can feel like they are on the sidelines, left-out, or that
you are playing favorites.Of course, you
aren’t doing any of those things but that isn’t how they see it. We even tend
to not pray for them as often out of the sheer magnitude of our special needs
child’s constant prayer requests, and they are doing so well without us anyways.
You want to go to their choir concert or
sports event, but other more pressing matters get in the way.Sometimes or oftentimes, your other child
feels invisible.They understand that
you are spent, but there are still many ways you can show the love.Here are a few tips to showing them that they
are indeed loved just as much as your special needs child.Although these may not all apply, many of
1)Pray for them as often as your special needs child, and
ask them how you can pray for them too.
2)Spend quality and regular time with them. Even something as simple as watching a show
with them or taking a 15 minute walk can go a long way.
3)Tell them how much they mean to you early and often.
4)Let them know in tangible ways how special they are
too by leaving a little note or making them a special meal or something
similar.Those little things take a few
minutes, but have lasting impact.
5)Give them periodic breaks from helping with their
special needs sibling.
6)Don’t force them to include their special needs
sibling all the time.Just like you, they
need time with their peers and alone time.
8)Give them permission to tell you when they feel
neglected, and ask them how they are doing periodically.
9)Make them just as much of a priority.That doesn’t equate to as much time spent
with them, but it does mean somehow that they know you want to put their needs
just as much at the forefront as their special needs sibling even if you can’t
physically be there for them always.
10) Above all, don't expect them to be the parent.
I know these are common sense but sometimes
we all need a reminder to get back on track.
Prayer:Lord, Help me to show each of my children your love and my love for
them.Give me wisdom as to how best by a
great parent for them and I especially thank you for their uniqueness.