I stood this morning as I do every weekday morning, with my son at our front door. We stand there together waiting on the bus for school. This morning as we were going through our normal routine I stood there looking at him and thought of the verses that I had read the night before, verses from Psalms 139.
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
Some of us have even thought and expressed those thoughts ourselves, I know I have, both before Cooper was born and after.
As parents we are keenly aware our children may not have the same abilities or skills as those around them, we know they have their own unique ways of experiencing the world.
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.
It is easy to focus on the perceived brokenness of their bodies, of their minds, and of their abilities.
We inevitably question why?
Why do they endure this?
Why the struggles and the pain...for them and for us?
I think you already know I don't have the answers. I don't know the purpose and the reasons for all of the pain in the world. Pain so frequently experienced by the young and innocent, by our own children.
I think one of the hardest things to accept is the fact that sometimes, often, we simply do not know why.
When I look at my son, and I think of everything that we have been through, every step we have taken, every path we have crossed, every dark place where we have seen His light shine through him, I remember these verses. I realize there are so many things I do not know, but these are things I have come to have a better understanding of...
How great is the sum of them! Psalm 139:13-17 NKJV
We may not know, but we cling to this knowledge...
So we pray...Dear God we can not do this without you. With all that we have, we need You. We cling to Your promises and when we are weary with the world we rest in Your presence. God strengthen us through the understanding of your Word, enabling us to keep focused protected hearts and renewed spirits as we parent these incredible gifts that you have given us.