Tuesday, September 15, 2015

They Are Created By God

I stood this morning as I do every weekday morning, with my son at our front door. We stand there together waiting on the bus for school.  This morning as we were going through our normal routine I stood there looking at him and thought of the verses that I had read the night before, verses from Psalms 139.

13 For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
Our children do not always come to us perfectly formed, equipped and created, at least not by the world's standards.  In fact most of us have seen, felt and heard those thoughts from others...thoughts expressing that our children are broken.  Words and looks from those around us conveying our children don't function like others, like them.

Some of us have even thought and expressed those thoughts ourselves, I know I have, both before Cooper was born and after.

As parents we are keenly aware our children may not have the same abilities or skills as those around them, we know they have their own unique ways of experiencing the world. 

15 My frame was not hidden from You,When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.
 I have read these verses many times, and I will continue to read them.  They began as perplexing words, perplexing to me, as a mother of a child who might be viewed as broken and imperfect by the world's standards. But these verses and these words, they  have slowly, over time, given way to understanding. They have become words that bring immense comfort.
In times when we may question why and how, when we grasp for a reason, they are there. They are unchanging words of comfort.  That is what God has given us...to know, to believe, to stand on and cling too.
When we feel like we have nothing left, these words planted in our hearts are part of the strong foundation we need to face the unknown that so often comes with raising a child with special needs.

It is easy to focus on the perceived brokenness of their bodies, of their minds, and of their abilities.

We inevitably question why? 

Why do they endure this?

Why the struggles and the pain...for them and for us?

I think you already know I don't have the answers. I don't know the purpose and the reasons for all of the pain in the world. Pain so frequently experienced by the young and innocent, by our own children. 

I think one of the hardest things to accept is the fact that sometimes, often, we simply do not know why.

When I look at my son, and I think of everything that we have been through, every step we have taken, every path we have crossed, every dark place where we have seen His light shine through him, I remember these verses. I realize there are so many things I do not know, but these are things I have come to have a better understanding of...

17 How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How great is the sum of them! Psalm 139:13-17 NKJV
They may appear broken and different, even by some, considered less valuable than others. We may never understand why or know the purpose for their time. But we take comfort, we stand firm in our belief and in the fact that they are beautifully and perfectly created for whatever that purpose may be.

We may not know, but we cling to this knowledge...

God...He knows.

So we pray...Dear God we can not do this without you. With all that we have, we need You. We cling to Your promises and when we are weary with the world we rest in Your presence. God strengthen us through the understanding of your Word, enabling us to keep focused protected hearts and renewed spirits as we parent these incredible gifts that you have given us.

~Beth Clay

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