Wednesday, May 20, 2015

I'm Glad God Doesn't Shower

Image courtesy of Mark McQuade
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Isaiah 40:29 NIV

I don't know about any other Mommas out there, but for me, the most relaxing part of my week is the (approximately) one uninterrupted shower I get. In the season of life we are currently at, that is as close to a spa get-away I will come and I have learned to CHERISH every second of it. I sing. I contemplate shaving my legs. I think extremely honest questions to God. I cry. I stare at the rust ring on the shower floor wondering if I should clean it or leave it there as a place-marker for the next can of shaving cream. It's a good time! 

But today was not that day. Today was INTERRUPTED SHOWER DAY! 

Interruption #1 
  Son A: "MOOOOOOOM! He won't throw his juice box away! He keeps saying that I have to do it and he will NEVER throw away his stuff!" (verge of tears)
   Me: "It's okay, buddy. This is not worth crying over. Just tell him that Momma says he needs to throw it away."

Interruption #2 (3 minutes later)
  Son A: "He STILL won't!"
  Son B: "He STILL won't!" (heavy mocking voice) 
  Son A: "No! I did throw mine away, but I'm still not done because I have to throw HIS away!" (verge of tears.)

Somehow I untangled the juice box argument without leaving the shower. But a deep sense of humility overcame me as I realized that this is exactly how I sound when I call out to God in my moments of exhaustion with worries over my son's disabilities. (He would probably never shower in peace.) 

   Me: "God, my son still won't do        (struggle of the week)        !!! He will never figure it out! How can I be a good Mom if I can't even get him to accomplish on this one little thing?!"

   Me: "God, all my work is done for the day but I'm still feeling  'stuck' because my son's task #1 from this morning is left unfinished. He won't do         (struggle of the week)        !! I honestly don't know if I have the patience to help him with it for the millionth time today."

I get so wrapped up in how I will ever accomplish the task I believe he has given me to do - help my son - that I forget to do the actual task he's given me to do - love my son. God takes care of the healing and the fixing; I am commanded to love my neighbor as myself. I don't want my neighbor fretting over the fact that I wait for the bus every morning still in my jammies. They don't need to fix that about me in order to love me. Quite the opposite - I would love it if they would show up in theirs for the bus every once in awhile, too! 

God will take care of the struggle of the week. What a beautiful truth that leaves me free to love my sons without the fears of failure. THAT I can do. 

PRAY: Dear Lord, I humbly plead with you to keep me focused on the role you have given me. You have not asked me to live out YOUR role. You are our Healer, Savior and Redeemer. Thank you for loving me despite constant questions, requests for help and struggles of the week. Teach me to do the same. Amen.

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