Thursday, February 12, 2015

What Did I Do to Deserve This?

Photo "Tomb" courtesy of  Tiverylucky/
 Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother... John 19:25 NIV

It's amazing to study the life of Jesus and to see how he fulfills the Law and becomes our High Priest who has walked the earth and knows what we go through while living here.  But, lately, I've had to come to terms with another piece that God, in all His wisdom, included in the Gospel.
The fact that Jesus's mother watched him die.
Being parents of children with special needs, many times, we have to face the fact that we could out live our children.  Yes, all parents have to face this; but as parents of children born with certain genetic conditions or medical conditions; we have to live with the fact that our children are more medically fragile.  

But even God's beloved Mary, the one who found favor in His eyes; the ONLY one He chose to bring forth the Messiah...even SHE had to endure the pain of watching her own child be mocked, whipped, stripped and crucified.

So, when we think to ourselves, "What did I do, God?  Why did you give me this burden?  Why do I have to suffer the pain of losing my child, watching my child suffer, watching my child be mocked?"; when we think these things, we can take comfort in the fact that God even asked HIS Mary...the ONE...He even asked her to suffer such excruciating pain for the sake of the world.
You have been chosen, you have been selected, you have been called worthy to stand in the midst of such a fire as this.  The choice is whether to accept it, or to fight it.  “I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May your word to me be fulfilled.” Then the angel left her. Luke 1:38 NIV
The Angel left her...and suddenly her life became one with a VERY important purpose.  

You know, sometimes there is a burden that comes with people saying, "Well, if anyone can do it, you can."  Or, "I know God chose you especially for this."  We don't FEEL special.  We don't FEEL stronger than others.  We just put one foot in front of the other just like anyone else who feels the weight of emotional burdens.  But suddenly we have to be inspiring and strong for this audience that looks on at our lives.  

We love it, and we hate it, don't we?
I know God has a plan, and I know God has a purpose and it is GREATER than I could EVER imagine.  But, it's still REALLY painful to watch your child suffer; be it psychological, physical, or other.  It's still really painful to know that OUR reaction to the agony is being watched by others and is a "witness" to our faith.  
I know my mental faith is bigger than my physical ability to handle the fear and agony.  But when people see me break down, what do they think about my faith?
Do they understand that I'm crying because I understand how BEAUTIFUL the pain of suffering for God's Will is?  Do they "get" that God loves us so much that He refuses to leave us as we are, and He moves us to a place of greater-purpose
What did we do to deserve this? 
We found favor with God.

Pray:  Father God, your ways are a MYSTERY.  I could not understand them in a million years.  But I know; I trust, that your ways are good, and that one beautiful day I will see your face and all of this will fade away...Amen.

~Tammie Hefty

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