~1 John 3:16~
This event occurred among what I thought were friends and in the church. We are a people who are learning to love well and were talking about love because of the nature of this particular party. We are people who are pro-love. Yet, at the moment when my daughter and I most needed love, we were let down. Again.
I was devastated. My daughter was devastated. The desire I have in those moments is to just run away and never come back. My mind is assaulted with thoughts of doubt because see, "these people never really cared about you anyway", is how the enemy assaults me.
Do I take the bait?
Emotions are high for me and my daughter. Emotions are non-existent for those around. All signs point to lack of love. Lack of care. Lack of concern from others.
How do I proceed?
This is the continual dilemma I fear that occurs for parents of special needs children. We find our selves in these situations where we could use encouragement or help. We could use just an assuring nod or look of concern. We could use prayer or a kind word.
People need to know that denying an awkward moment does not make it go away. It actually makes it worse for those who are in the awkward. It is more painful to be denied a moment of care or acknowledgment because it speaks, you are not worth my time to care.
Though I am tempted to run and never look back, God calls us to a higher standard of love. Though we may be denied love from others we share in Christ's sufferings of being rejected. People did not understand Jesus and they all fell away from Him. They were not there for Him when He most needed them, yet He entrusted Himself to the Father and endured the humiliation and rejection because He loved us too much to turn away from His mission. And most importantly He rested securely in the Father's love for Him.
We didn't love but He repaid with love. When we walk that road of the cross, through our troubles, we enter into His sufferings. We experience a part of the Christian life that is deeper. We experience Christ's love in a new way. He after all is enough and really all that matters.
In order to not grow bitter about this rejection, I need to pray. I need to forgive. I need to entrust myself into the Father's hands who hears my cries. I need to love well so it will teach those around me to love well as they watch. My retreat is not for any one's benefit. It is for the sake of Christ we do not forsake meeting together even though it is excruciatingly hard at times. God will reward it. God will teach us to be good forgivers. God's love will never fail us.
PRAY: Father, please help me to not allow the divisive schemes of the enemy ruin relationships. Lord, help me be an example of love to those around me. Help me not allow a root of bitterness grow up in me. Help me to keep my eyes on you and rejoice that I am counted worthy to share in your sufferings. Thank you that you will use all things for my good and your glory making me more into your image. In Jesus name. Amen.