Tuesday, October 7, 2014

My Brother’s Death Part 2 ~ Guest blog by Amanda Combs

”But as for me, how good it is to be near God! I have made the Sovereign Lord my shelter, and I will tell everyone about the wonderful things you do.”  Psalm 73:28 NLT

Please read Part 1 first.

No one can understand God’s will, but I was beginning to wrap my mind and my heart around His dominion.  I was starting to understand that everything on this earth and all that I have and am and hold dear is NOT mine.  It never was mine, it never will be mine, it was and always is HIS.  And not only that, but he LOVES what is His more than I could ever begin to imagine.

So, when my brother, David, died of a drug overdose, I looked to God and said, “How dare you take MY brother from me?” and thought to myself, “Why did you love so-and-so more than David by healing them?”  That was such an affront to God and His nature.  He could have shot back at me, but he didn’t.

God continued to work on my heart in revealing His loving, sovereign nature.  Now that I am a mom, I can understand even more how He is doing what’s best for me and my own good.  I am learning more and more that obedience all boils down to trust.  God has been asking me over and over the simple question, “Do you trust me?” 

If my answer to that is “Yes”, then why would I ever NOT obey him?  If God is sovereign and loving, which he is, why would I ever say no to him?  If God is my Father, why would I ever disobey him?  A song that I listen to in the car, based on the sacrifice of Isaac, states it simply, “To trust is to obey”.  If only it were that easy. 

My prayers have changed again.  First I gave up on prayer.  Then I prayed expecting for the worst outcome every time, or being angry and bitter.  I expected God to ignore my pleas.  Now I pray, “Lord, I trust you.”

So even though there is still so much work to be done on my heart, I am comforted.  Not only am I learning what it means to trust and therefore obey, but God has continually shown me that his love doesn’t depend on me. 

When I was angry at Him, He loved me. 

When I stopped praying to Him, He pursued me. 

When I gave up for a time, He was still working.  And that is such an encouragement to me.

Pray: Lord, Thank you for being patient with me when I am not seeking you and trusting you.  Thank you for your sovereignty in my life and help me to trust you more and more.  Lastly, help me to share the wonderful news of your love to the world.

Amanda Combs

Amanda Combs is the oldest daughter of Ann Gapinski
To read Ann's other posts click on her name under the labels section. 

October 5 - 11, 2014 is Mental Illness Awareness Week, and World Mental Health Day is on October 10, 2014.  Join us for a week of online resources and prayer support at our Facebook Event.

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