Thursday, September 25, 2014

Why Was I Even BORN???

Photo Courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/
Cursed be the day
    on which I was born!
The day when my mother bore me,
    let it not be blessed!
Cursed be the man
    who brought the news to my father, saying,
“A child is born to you, a son,”
    making him very glad. 
 Let that man be like the cities
    that the Lord overthrew without pity;
let him hear a cry in the morning
    and an alarm at noon,
because he did not kill me in the womb;
    so my mother would have been my grave,
    and her womb forever great.
Why did I come forth from the womb
    to see toil and sorrow,
    and spend my days in shame?
Jeremiah 20:14-18 NRSV

Have you ever had days like Jeremiah and felt that way?  Have you ever wished you could just crawl right back into bed and cease to exist because you were weary and heavily burdened with all you had going on in your life?  Have you ever had someone say to you, "Come on, cheer up and be thankful for all that God has given you?"  

I know I have~and this past Sunday, when I was at church and listening to Chris Brown speak on prayer, and how God wants us to pray, the Holy Spirit put this message that I'm about to write on my heart.

God wants to hear from you...

God wants to hear about your fear like how Jesus prayed on the night before his crucifixion.  He prayed against God's will...Jesus, the Savior of the World asked God to "take this cup from me" Luke 22:42.  Have you ever prayed the same?  

God, I can't do this...I'm not strong enough!  I can't have a child with cancer, don't you know me?   I can't deal with a rare disease, I can hardly handle the ones that are well-known!  WHY WAS I EVEN BORN?

The great prophet Elijah, convinced that he was a failure, wanted God to kill him:
He asked that he might die: “It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life, for I am no better than my ancestors.”  1 Kings 19:4 NRSV
Jeremiah, Elijah,...and others like Moses and Jonah...and JESUS...they all prayed against God's design at one point or another.  And, if God is the author of the Bible, if his breath inspired all of this to be written as a love letter to us; then God sees greatness, or at least great inspiration in the weakness of others here on earth.

God wanted THAT printed.  God wanted to show us how he takes flawed men and builds them up.  God wanted to show us how he "qualifies the called" and doesn't "call the qualified."  God wanted to show us what PRAYER looks like, sounds like, and CAN do...

So, when you need to, cry out...lament, implore, prostrate, weep...and then listen.  Listen for his direction, listen for his peace, and listen for his blessings.

Pray:  Heavenly Father, thank you for loving all of us as imperfect as we are.  Thank you for being our confidant in whom we can entrust our greatest defeats and our biggest fears.  Thank you for printing the prayers of distress as well as the prayers of praise.  Your love letter to us is perfect.  Amen

~Tammie Hefty


  1. Tammie! What a truly honest, authentic, poignant devotion! Yes!!! We can't hear it enough or share it enough. We can come before our God with everything we're feeling and just lay it out before Him...... then we can listen and let Him comfort us and build us back up again. Thank you for sharing this!

  2. Cindy, You're welcome! It's really encouraging that our honesty with Him is the best way to give Him control...showing our weakness is our best way to allow Him to show His strength! I'm so thankful for that!