Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." John 14:6 NIV
Image Courtesy of Marcolm/freedigitalphotos.net
I sit anxiously in the waiting room...the administrative assistant is clicking away on her keyboard, and the phone seems to be ringing non-stop. I feel the sweat pools forming under my knees creating an inability for me to sit comfortably on the pristine couch in the corner of the room.
The door to his office swings open.
"Tammie?" He asks, scanning the room. "Tammie, come on in." He gestures into his office, and smiles genuinely at his assistant before closing the door to the waiting room.
"Have a seat..." He motions to a brown leather chair; the kind found in a "parlor" or "library."
"You have a resume with you, I presume?"
I hand him my resume; Century Gothic font...12 point...bolded to highlight my name and main points, italicized where I highlight dates and descriptions.
"Hmmm...this is nice?" He says, unconvincingly.
"I have a Masters Degree," I point out...too obviously desperate for my own comfort. "I worked for over 15 years in retail...I mean...RETAIL! I couldn't enjoy Christmas like a normal person. You know how important Christmas is!"
Okay, I think to myself...I'm not even making sense. This is not how I intended to portray myself.
"I see that...it's written on your resume." He continues to peruse the resume; unimpressed, and clearly unmoved. "You know what you needed to do in order to get in here, right?"
"Oh my, yes. I tithed..."
"Well...maybe more like 5? But I did it consistently." He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "And we were members of the church...I sang on the worship team and volunteered!" Another uncomfortable shift. "Wait! I also donated to good non-profit groups. I BLOGGED about my faith. I PRAYED. I was in a PRECEPT Bible Study! That's a LOT of work!"
I knew I was rambling, but I also knew that I hadn't done enough.
"But," he began, "Did you DO what you needed to DO?"
"God, my daughter was legally blind...she had CANCER. Cancer, God, do you understand THAT?"
"I'm well aware of cancer...and I'm well aware of Evie. Tammie...you seem quite Proud of your accomplishments."
"Well, I invested a lot of time into them. Of course I'm proud."
He raised an eye brow..."I seem to recall you thinking many times during you life that you 'deserved better.'"
"I did a LOT to tell people about you, and to share your love." Now I was getting mad.
"You shared my love...never spoke in haste, did you? Never spoke in anger? You never hurt anyone?"
I let out an exasperated breath. What did he expect? Perfection?
"You gave us a broken world...I didn't eat the apple...some lady hundreds of thousands of years older than I did. But I had to suffer the same consequences???"
"You inherited a curse~and you, along with all of your ancestors before you, and your lineage after you will be answering to that curse. But I gave you a way out."
"I told you! I tithed! I volunteered! I gave my all!!!"
"You gave your... all?"
"I gave my all."
"It wasn't enough...I demand perfection...I require holiness...can you show me holiness, anywhere, anywhere in your life?"
I was quiet; I sat frozen. I had never attained holiness. I could never attain holiness. Not me.
"Tammie, where are your references?"
I reached into my bag. The one I bought because it was "cute" and twenty five percent off, AND made me happy whenever I carried it. It wasn't bringing much happiness this day.
I pulled out the reference sheet. It had been typed years before; had been through hell and back with me on earth. I had crumpled it and thrown it away a few times; only later to realize that my reference sheet was the one thing I had going for me.
"Here. Sorry about the dirt and dried and blood. That sheet has been with me since I was 8 years old. It's been through a lot."
God un-crumpled the battered and stained form. "Aaaahhh..." God said, suddenly lighter and brighter..."Yes! You DID do it!!! You remembered him!"
"Yeah, yeah, I did. I just seem to always let ME get in the way."
"Well, that's understandable. But, this guy," God turned the reference form over and pointed to the name, "He has been telling me about you for EVER! Do you know he's crazy about you?"
"Really?" I asked, blushing with relief.
"Really...that's all you needed, Tammie. I just needed your reference from him...Tammie...welcome home."
Pray: Heavenly Father, thank you for sending your son to this world to act as our Great High Priest so we may be made worthy to life with you in Heaven. Amen~Tammie Hefty