Confession: I had planned to write something pretty self-congratulatory about how much I have changed and grown because I waited so patiently for my daughter's biopsy reports, not obsessing over them and the myriad possible results and indicated disorders during all my waking hours.
But then I got the results, and while they were mostly good, we're left without a clear sense of what direction to go next---again. I made the suggested call to another specialist, which led to scheduling an appointment for early June. That means we've had an out-of-town specialist appointment every two weeks for a while---with at least two more to go. I'm tired. The cost of all of these appointments and the travel concerns me. I'm frustrated by the difficulty of getting the help my daughter needs. And frankly, I get scared about it all working out and our needs being met in the process.
I was on the verge of tears, trying not to completely freak out in front of my children, when I remembered that I hadn't read my chapter from John yet. I grabbed The Message Bible and sat down at the kitchen table. I opened it to John 14, and I saw it.
Don't let this throw you.... Trust me.I know it's way out of context, but I promise you that God meant those words for me at that precise time and place. My peace was restored as I read the rest of the chapter and Jesus' assurances of His peace and presence. I went from looking at the circumstances that were causing the drama to remembering God, His love, His faithfulness, and all the times He has provided for us and seen us through. And the more I thought about God, the smaller my problems got and the more optimistic I became. I realized that He is actively working on our behalf in every situation that concerns us.
I decided not to let this new set of circumstances throw me---and to trust Him.
Pray: Father, I'm so thankful that you're bigger than any circumstance or situation that faces my family and me. Thank you for walking right beside us through it as we move toward Your solution for our problems and Your provision for every need. Amen.
~ Jennifer A. Janes