Friday, January 24, 2014

A Heavy Heart Laced with Weighty Grace


“Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.

    I have called you by name; you are mine.

When you go through deep waters,

    I will be with you.

When you go through rivers of difficulty,
    you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression,
    you will not be burned up;
    the flames will not consume you.
For I am the Lord, your God,
    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior" (Isaiah 43b-43:3a, NLT).

My life often feels like a puzzle with a missing piece. Things appear to be fitting in place like the beautiful box picture but then something happens and a piece is missing again. Smooth sailing takes a back seat for another day. It is disturbing. It is a heaviness my heart feels like it cannot take.

Yet all the promises of God are true for those that are HIS. That excites me and gives me great hope in the mist of deep pain. Though I had nothing special about me, God saw fit to chose me and redeem me to be His own. I ponder those things. I rejoice in them. I trust His promises. And my heart lifts.

Having a child with special needs is like being in deep waters some of the time. It feels as if the waves of it will sweep you away and drag you under. Yet He promises me, He is with me.

Having a child with special needs is at times like rivers of raging rapids yet God is with us in the boat and will not let us drown. He is my very breath! He is the air I breath. He gets me through.

Having a child with special needs is sometimes like walking through scorching fire but His promises to me is I will not be burned up. The flames, though very real, will not consume me, in fact they will burn away the impurities of my life! In this I can rejoice.

Why I was chosen to be a mother of a child with special needs is something I will never understand while on this planet. But I do know that God is good. He is the sovereign One. He knows best and will use everything in our lives for our good and His glory. So I face the waves, the wind, and the fire with a quiet trust. For the One who quiets the winds and the waves and the fire is the One who holds me close. Soul, rest in this.

Pray:  Lord, forgive me for my unbelief! Help me to rest in quiet trust of your promises and steadfast love.

~Angela

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