Wednesday, June 5, 2013

I'm Sorry

I shiver in awe before you;
    your decisions leave me speechless with reverence.
~ Psalm 119:120, MSG ~

I apologize.

I've disappointed you.


I'm sorry I don't have a house that looks like the magazines.  There are dirty dishes sitting around.  Clutter on the counter.  Mountains of medical bills on the dining room table.  Full baskets of laundry waiting in the mud room.  But what you don't know is that we have spent months at the doctors' offices...  And the hospital.

I'm sorry I can't come to your jewelry party.  The truth be known, we are broke.  I would love to come and be with you, but you expect me to at least buying something small to help you earn your free gifts.  If I spend even a little money at your party, I won't be able to afford my child's prescriptions this month.

I'm sorry if I come to the school looking like the latest candidate for the fashion nightmare TV show.  I was up until the wee hours trying to get a child on the spectrum to sleep for the night.  I had to be up early to put an IV in my other child too.  It's hard to get a shower in on days like these before I have to get the kids to school.

I'm sorry I haven't seen the latest movie in theaters...  Or that I'm not up on pop culture.  I have been so tired that I just don't watch much television or go out once I manage to get the kids to bed.

I'm sorry I can't make it to your women's retreat.  I was just out of town for my job, and I can't be out of town for two weekends in a row.  It's not fair to my children.  It's not fair to my spouse who struggles when caring for the kids.  God didn't make him to fill my role.

I'm sorry I have lots of weeds in my garden, but I don't have much spare time to dig in the dirt like I would love to do.  Oh, to have a beautiful symphony of flowers well tended with fresh mulch around them again!

I'm sorry I'm not on the PTA...

Or gossiping with the rest of the neighbors...

Or involved in many extracurricular sports or activities with my kids...

Or buying you the lovely gift you are worthy of...

Or tending to a mani pedi as proper women do.

I'm sorry I don't meet your expectations, but I serve an audience of One.  And He has me on a most precious assignment, foregoing my own pleasure to pour into the very worthy lives of some amazing children who need a little extra help.

I'm sorry you aren't on quite the same mission as I am...  But I just know you'll understand and cut me some slack.

PRAY:  Father, help us to extend the same grace and understanding to one another that You extend to us individually.  May we all remember that we are here as objects of Your love and for Your good pleasure.

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1 comment:

  1. Barb, thanks! You constantly challenge my heart! I'm glad there's a 10th commandment as I could wish I had written something similar! :o) Love you and praying specifically for your "tired" today!