Friday, November 16, 2012


My soul is thirsty for God, for the living God. When will I come and meet with God?
~ Psalm 42:2, NLV ~

It may be a scary place at times, especially for me, but God put it on my heart the other day to share some of my personal journal entries with you.  While I cannot know the reasons the Lord is prompting me, I can speculate that my transparency might bless you.  It may show you things I have struggled with over the years, conversations I have had with God, and how I worked through things.  In my brokenness, I just may make it okay for you to be broken too, and yet, still faithfully following Christ.

I ask that you refrain from trying to "fix" me or my worldview in any of these posts.  I am taking pieces from years and years of journaling without letting you know the exact date of the post, so I may have already resolved the issue.  The point of sharing such intimate parts of my life is so that you may grow.  Growth comes in a variety of ways which include observing and learning from others who have gone before us.  Knowing that motivates me to push past the discomfort and concern that opening up my private journal to you may bring me personal harm or insult.

All that being said, let's get started...


How can I ever praise You enough, Lord?  Your gracious goodness is upon me each and every day.  My life is filled, touched with so many, many wonderful people.  The joy You bring me is breathtaking!  What a privilege it is getting to know the fascinating people my children are and are becoming, when I had so many anguished hours earlier in my life, wondering if I would ever be a parent.  The gift of entering into the lives, and even the pain, of others has made my life incredibly rich.  The blessing of edification by other solid, mature Christians when I am so faithless is beyond an honor.

Holy Spirit bring this day, this feeling of an overflowing heart, to mind when I am discouraged or feeling like the whole world is against me.  Strengthen my resolve and focus.  Remind me to doubt my doubts, and that a pity part is a party of one that others have no desire to attend.  Wash away my selfishness.  Make me a reflection of Your glory in spite of myself.  Work through me as a salve to a hurting world.

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