Friday, May 21, 2010

When The Well Runs Dry

"For I am already being poured out like a drink offering..." (2 Timothy 4:6, NIV)

I am having a very rough day. I have recently undergone yet another surgery. I daily live a poured-out life, sacrificing for others as my spiritual act of worship. But now I'm the one in need, and the silence is deafening. What do I do? I'm the one who holds things together, makes and keeps the doctors appointments, cooks and cleans, does the home therapies. Who's there for me when I can't manage?

You've been there. I KNOW you have! Mom is the one who is the anchor of the home, especially the special needs home! If there is an IEP to prepare for, mom is on top of it. If there's a treatment to explore or a situation to advocate for her child in, mom's all over it! But what happens when Mom is the one who is in need?

Here are my few weak attempts at pointing you in the right direction as I limp down the same path with you:
  1. Fill your cup regularly, so that you have reserves to draw from when the going gets tough. Taking one evening a week to leave your spouse or a child care worker in charge of your children is key. Do anything you like from hobbies to exercise. I used to grab a favorite book, a small mocha and hide at the neighborhood coffee house for 90 minutes.
  2. Set up a good web of care to fall back on. God may not fill the void the way you think He should, but take the help where you can get it. Got girlfriends you need to call in favors from? Make sure they're at the ready. Have a group of church ladies that regularly prepare meals for "shut ins"? Get on their list.
  3. When life is at it's darkest, walk by faith and not by sight. Remember, that even when life doesn't make sense and you're not "feelin' the love", He's right there with you in that hopeless valley (Psalm 23:4). Sometimes, just doing the next thing, putting one foot in front of the other and going through the motions has to be good enough. We're all in survival mode sometimes.
  4. Be gentle with yourself. It's alright to be in a place of need. Realize that none of us are perfect, and yet, we're awesomely loved by our Maker. You may be really angry at not getting the help that you need. And it's okay to be angry. Know that this too shall pass, even it it's miserable for now.

To those who don't contend with such things, roll up your sleeves and be the Christian that you profess to be when you see a mom with a special needs child in such a position. Their daily living is difficult enough without struggling through their own personal times of need. Take the lead in helping them and make your faith real with how you act (James 1:22). God may just be providing YOU with the opportunity to BE Jesus to a family in need!

1 comment:

  1. I *really* needed to read this. Thanks for posting such wonderful suggestions for helping ourselves, and helping each other.

    ~Michelle aka The BearTwinsMom