Tuesday, May 4, 2010

SWEET RELEASE


"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of Him. So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord." (1 Samuel 1:27-28, NIV)

Nothing will make a mother's heart relocate to her throat like having her child cross a busy street by them self in the early years. Add to that mix the fact that the child has severe hemophilia (a genetic bleeding disorder), the intersection is unmarked and there are countless inattentive, hurried drivers, and you're looking at a mother near cardiac arrest!

Yet, every school day of the warm weather months in Wisconsin, this is what I endure with our tween-aged son. I lovingly kiss him, pat his bike helmeted head and warn him, "Now watch out for those crazy drivers!" I used to watch him ride off out the front windows of the house praying him all the way to school. Joy mixed with concerned pleas filled my soul as I saw him near that busiest of streets he'd have to cross to make it to the school.

I have friends who still ask me, "How can you do that? I'd be a wreck!" But I learned early on that there's Someone who cares about that boy even more than my husband and I do! You see, like Hannah, praying in the passage cited today, our two eldest children did not come to us easily. I think that made us ever-aware that these little people are a precious gift granted to us, on loan from God. Our infertility treatment also made us painfully aware of how much in this life we are not in control of. So when our son was diagnosed with hemophilia, we knew that this was such an overwhelming diagnosis, the God who allowed it to happen would have to be the one who was in control of it. He would have to keep His eye on our boy because despite our best efforts, we could not keep him completely safe or trauma-free.

One thing that has allowed us the sweet release of giving our child back to the Lord as Hannah does in her prayer was that loving assurance that "even the very hairs of your head are all numbered." (Matthew 10:30) Heck, even WE haven't numbered every hair on each of our children's heads! If God loves our kids that much, then He loves them even more than we, their parents could ever ask or imagine! That has given us great comfort in allowing those opportunities for not only our son, but all our children to spread their wings in increasing measure as appropriate for their maturity level. We entrust them to God's care every day confident that He has their best in mind.

Does that mean we take unnecessary, foolish risks? Of course not! Our son is still prohibited from using trampolines and from playing football. And all of our kids still have to carry cell phones when traveling alone, being required to check in with us for a status report.

But we are set free, though sometimes anxiously so, allowing our kids to grow to the next level without controlling parents hovering. We grow ourselves in the process, learning to trust God anew as we release the tight reigns our fears dominate. And the full circle of what our Father has accomplished through the lives of these kids overwhelms our hearts with joy.

1 comment:

  1. oh honey...

    I hope that when Jack gets to that age, you will hold MY hand through this! ;)
    xoxox

    ReplyDelete